Song Synopsis
This song explores the dismay we feel when we believe the limiting thoughts that run through our minds. Caught in negative patterns, we can lose connection — with others, and with ourselves. Why parallels the unraveling of a relationship with someone else and the painful disconnect from our own sense of worth. It ends with a quiet ache: What would we give, do, and say... to come home — to them, or to ourselves?
Lyrics
V1
Why do I feel
So alone at night
When everything’s
Going my way
Why do I feel like
Hurting and hiding
Why do I believe
Everything that you say
V2
Why am I failing and fussing
And fighting and frightening
The good times away
Why do I feel so fearful
To be found out
Why do I believe
Everything that you say
Breakdown
I’ve got to face the demons
The reasons the semen
It’s seething and seeping
Right out of me why!
My head is escaping
It’s raping and shaking
The toll that it’s taking
I’m naked and shy!
Oh why is the pressure
Just pressing and pressing
Depressing me stressing me
Why why!
I’m caught in my thoughts
And they stand in the way
Why do I believe
Everything that you say?
V3
Why am I failing
And flailing and fretting
And fighting
Myself everyday
I’m breaking down
Taken down
Pounding my heart
Beating faster and faster away
I believe in the words
Spinning round in my head
Is this my ultimate fate
They ring so clear
The words that I hear
I believe everything
That they say
Bridge
I’m all alone
In this desolate home
Is this any way to live
What I would give
V4
I’m turning a new leaf
I’m sowing what I reap
I’m burning and burning away
The doubt and the shame
Self inflicted pain
I’m down on my knees every day
I’m leaving the old ways
And starting a new phase
No limit to the price I will pay
And what I would give
4x
Solo
Bridge
What I would give
What I would do
What I would say
Dialog
Ring…/Heart Beat
Hi, it’s me
I thought I’d call you
Yeah I know it’s late but
I just wanted to hear your voice
… yeah I know
I’ve missed you too
It’s… it’s been too long
Hey I’ve been, I’ve been thinking about us
And I wanted to tell you
I don’t want to do this
Without you
I don’t want another moment
To go by without you
I love us
Oh baby
I was hoping I could see you tonight
Yeah…. I’d like that too
(Laugh cry)
End
And what I would give
(I saw what you gave)
And what I would do
(I saw what you did)
And what I would say
To come home to you
(To come home to me)
Backstory and Info
Backstory - Why
If you’ve ever had that relentless soundtrack in your head—the one that whispers (or sometimes screams) you’re worthless, broken, or have nothing to offer—then you’ve been in the same dark alley where this song was born. That voice can feel like the devil’s own mixtape.
Even the strongest mind can get sucker-punched by it. Under stress, we forget who we are. We go from lion-hearted to lost cub, from knowing our truth to believing the lie that everything we’ve ever done has no value. That’s the venom of inner sabotage.
One night, caught in that storm, I grabbed the nearest thing—dry-erase marker in hand—and turned the bathroom mirror into a billboard for every ugly thought in my head. It filled the glass. For days I walked in, saw those words, and saw my reflection trapped behind them. Slowly, I began to mistake the graffiti for the truth of who I was.
But here’s the thing: in yoga, we call those lies Avidyā—wrong knowledge. Beneath the fog, your true nature waits, untouched. You can’t stop a rose from smelling like a rose.
After staring at that mirror long enough, something shifted. God spoke. The resolution to this song appeared like sunlight through clouds: the words I would say, the things I would give, to come home. Not just home to someone I love, but home to myself.
I framed the song as the breakup of two people finding their way back together. But in the deeper current, it’s about the soul’s reunion with the Source. In yoga philosophy, the three Mālas—Āṇava, Karma, and Māyī—show how we forget our unity. First, the shrinking of the heart (Āṇava), then the binding of our actions (Karma), and finally the illusion of separateness (Māyī). The further we drift, the louder the suffering. Yet the Divine is always on the other end, waving us back in.
So when the chorus repeats—I saw what you did, I saw what you gave, I heard what you said—it’s more than a reconciliation between two lovers. It’s the soul answering that call to return. It’s the engine of the Emotional Driver itself: finding the road back to the heart, back to the truth, back home.